lost elation

Ridgwell

Dog Days…

Well lit fiends, we are about to witness the end of another year and what have we done? Or what hast thou done, or even what has God wrought! As usual the human situation remains the same, fucked up. But we live in hope for better things, a better life, or a groovier way of living.

Maybe the hermits were right, go find an old cave and live in it for the rest of your fading years. And why are all hermits male? Or is a female hermit a bag lady? Or maybe the war mongers are right, kill as many of the fuckers as you can, in the name of democracy, religion, family or whatever, and then die happy. Or maybe the money makers are right – spend your entire life in the accumulation of as much filthy lucre as possible, whilst at the same time fucking over as many of your fellow humans beings as you can. And maybe the marketing gimps are right, people are as thick as shit, so we can sell them any old crap, even their own!

Or maybe Ronnie and Ridgwell were right in Burrito deluxe – just follow the sun…

 

Or maybe, just maybe – our perky milk race fanatics are right – wank yourself into oblivion!

And in the face of that devastating philosophical illumination – here’s another Super 8mm eyeball scorcher for you randy existentialist’s…

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Ridgwell Forgery Alert!

Dearest Lit Fiends languishing in lonely bedsits all over the world, gather round and heed this warning! It has recently been brought to my attention that persons unknown are currently trying to flog copies of my novel – Burrito Deluxe, with forged Ridgwell signatures. Why the fuck would anyone want to do that sort of low life shit, I hear you weep. Well, as some of my sought after books are now worth two to three hundred pounds per copy, there’s money involved. And as you know, to some crooked members of society, the acquisition of filthy lucre is the be all and end all of their putrid little existence. Anyway, the good thing is the forger or forgetters are pretty shit and bear witness to the undeniable fact an individual’s signature is unique to theirselves, even childish scrawls like mine. Now, study the two signatures in the pics below. The first one is the forgery and the second a genuine Ridgwell autograph. The forger is unable to spell the date correctly, the 2 is significantly different, the R is totally wrong, and the little man drinking a pint of beer which accompanies most of my signatures is unrecognisable. So Lit Fiends be wary, be wise, and purchase signed copies of my book with great caution. Thou hast been warned. And to the inept forger who tried to make money out of poor old Ridgwell, go take a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut!

Forgery:

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Genuine article:

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To purchase a copy of Burrito Deluxe – forgery free – go here: –Leamington Books

http://www.leamingtonbooks.co.uk

 

Milk Race fanatics – here’s a surprise Christmas treat for you perverted wankers. A festive eyeball cruncher from the 4th Emergency Service. Una, dos, tres – sabre dance time!

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Ridgwell walks off into the sunset…

Lit Fiends of the world, now gather round and listen to my sad tale. I bet you’ve been wondering why there’s been so little activity on this site in recent months. I bet this anomaly has been playing on your mind day in and day out, keeping you awake at night, leading to recurring nightmares that there might never be another Ridgwell book ever again, and your lonely life in bedsitter land just won’t be worth living. Well fear not.  I’ve been busy writing, not surfing the web like countless other feeble-minded geeks. Man, they can’t stay away from the internet, they’re all saddled with a serious fucking monkey on their backs. In fact it’s bigger than a monkey, it’s a fucking gorilla, silverback an all. What happened to the days when people went out, you know like down the pub to have a chinwag with their mates whilst at the same time ogling the barmaids thrupenny bits? Anyway, I digress, for five years I’ve been blogging on this site and I think that most would agree that’s long enough for one man, even a man of my immense talent. That’s right, I’m calling it a day. Yes, there have been highs and lows, more highs than lows, but when the going gets tough the tough get the fuck out. The final straw that broke the weasel’s back was the revelation that readers of this site were now and again subject to capitalism’s most nauseous machination, that of the Advert. That’s right advertisements, marketing gimps polluting my site with their infantile sales gimmicks. Really, everyone involved in advertising must be retarded or something, with the lame duck ideas they bombard the unfortunate public with. Whatever it is you’ve got to sell I’m not interested.

Anyway, don’t believe me, watch the master in action.

I’ll let this site hang out in an obscure corner of the world wide web, floating on the information super highway like some weird Hubble bubble. Maybe I’ll even update the publications page once in a while. For more Ridgwell books are coming and coming soon, so don’t say you haven’t been warned and start saving those dollars, pounds, and pesos, and keep those sweaty fingers of yours hovering over those PayPal buttons.

2017 has been a quiet year for me publication wise, but 2018 promises to be a bumper year for Ridgwell books, and remember he who laughs last is the master. So now all that’s left to say is goodbye my fellow lit fiends, adios amigos, sayonara, adieu, so long, farewell, Toodle-pip. Yes, yes, you can watch as I walk off into the sunset, cold beer in hand, and a head full of dreams, wondering where the time goes and what will become of me. Sure we’ll meet again, it’s just I don’t know where and I don’t know when. Ah, weep not for me fellow literary comrades for I must continue on my lonely road, always seeking illuminations, always in search of the lost elation wherever he or she maybe. No. no, now now, there’s a good lit fiend, don’t cry, be a man or a woman, and hold your head up high….

Milk Race Fans – I know you’ll be weeping into your Kleenex, moved to tears because this is the last time you’ll get any Super 8mm action from old Ridgwell. Well. I’m afraid the time has come and remember nothing good lasts forever. But to compensate you for the void that now appears in your depraved and perverted little lives I’ve saved the best till last. Feast yours crazy screwball optics on this 4th Emergency Service Top Gun Room eyeball cruncher. Yes, here it is in all it’s legendary 8mm glory. The one and only, the pic everyone in the know talks about in hushed conspirator tones. Does it really exist? Of course if fucking does. Now una, dos, tres – Everybody’s got new clothes, makes me feel kinda old….

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And here’s a couple of pomes taken from my latest collection – Cosmic Gigantic Flywheel – publication of which is imminent, just like nuclear war between the States and North Korea is imminent. Hopefully it will remind you of the times we’re living in and no matter how bad things seems, hope is all you need to carry on. And remember do everything whilst young and don’t leave anything too late, for there’s nothing worse than too late!

notes from the underground – hand job anthology

Lit Fiends of the world take heed. A small press revolution is currently underway and even I – the Head Honcho lit fiend – am finding it hard to keep up with the strange and new publications flying through the letterbox of Ranchlette Ridgwell at an ever increasing rate of doormat thuds! So jump from beneath that spunk-stained and foundation marked duvet, light up a roach from the congested ashtray lying on your bedside table, grab the half empty can of fosters next to said ashtray, take a swig, and feast your mince pies on the wonderful Hand Job Zine Anthology published by Hi-Vis press and available to order here: Hi Vis Press

The construction of the book is worth the price alone and the press and the zine have come up with something totally unique and original! it has to be seen to appreciate the  craftsmanship involved.

And what of the writing, poetry and artwork contained within, I hear you mumble. Lit Fiend gold dust is what’s inside and the line up is a stellar one. But I’m not going to name names or give you a freebie glimpse. No, to achieve that mind-bending aim you’ll have to buy a copy. And move fast or forever feel left out in the literary cold like a dry lunch.

It’s all happening! With the anthology came a copy of the review zine Urban F – courtesy of the Queen of the Underground – Abbie Foxton. Inside it’s small press review city – with an excellent review of my road novel – Burrito Deluxe

And there’s more – more zines, Razur Cuts, Glove & Con to name but a few!

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The roll call of small press publishers reads like a who’s who of the global small press world.

Suitably impressed? I should think so you depraved bibliophiles. Now start pumping those paypal buttons like an amaze-balled sex maniac!

Tug Boat Champions. Blink and you’ll miss this Super 8mm stunner from the Fourth Emergency Service’s Top Gun room. Uno, dos, one, two, tres, quatro. Matty told Hatty about a thing she saw. Had two big horns and a wooly jaw. Wooly bully, wooly bully
Wooly bully, wooly bully, wooly bully…

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Fiend de la litt a continué

Continental lit fiends gather round. The December edition of Tra Ver Sees – Issue 82 is out now! And inside are 7 Ridgwell pomes. That’s right 7, so turn off the Jacques Brel, put down Madam Bovary, stub out the gauloise, and get thee to your nearest independent Parisian  or Brussels book shop to order a copy or better still, several. There are some giants of writing inside including Emily Dickinson and one of my fav writers, who is also strangely enough named after me – JR Helton! Check out the pics below for a peep!

UK Islander folk – do not fear if like many of your fellow country men and women you can’t read French. Get thee to the Eurostar for verily beside each French translation is the original in Anglais!

And before you ask, no I don’t know if you can purchase this literary gem online. You probably can but I don’t know how or why or even if I care. Anyway, what are you a recluse!

A special honourable mention must go to that young bastard – Poet Tom Buron – who did an excellent job translating my poems into French. Vive La France!

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Milk race rascals – stay put. For here it comes. Prepare to be spellbound. Una dos trios, – here we go round the mulberry bush…

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Mexico

Well lit fiends, gather round, and listen in. Finally it is here – the final part of the Pig Ear Press Trilogy – Mexico. A beautiful book, a beautiful story – so do not delay. That’s right start pumping those paypal buttons like the demented bibliophiles that you undoubtedly are! Go HERE! – PIGEAR PRESS

And milk race devotees. Do not fear – the 4th Emergency Service is here in the form of a bonafide Super 8MM eyeball twister! Una dos tres – do the hustle! What’s that? A bit grainy I hear you say, well use your imagination for once why don’t cha!

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Burrito Deluxe – Book of the Week

Lit fiends, put your cider tins down, and gather round. Tomorrow – Saturday 26th November 2016 – I will be live and in person at the Scottish Design Exchange, signing copies of my novel Burrito Deluxe, which has been named Book of the Week. So, if you’re in the Edinburgh area, come along to Ocean Terminal in Leith from noon onwards and get a personally signed copy of the road novel to end all road novels. And remember if you join them you will always be at odds with them and everything they stand for! P.S There’s a free mannequin with every book sold! Get thee to Ocean Terminal in Leith or forever feel left out in the cold like a mug.

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Milk Race Speed Freaks. Stay nimble-fingered.I never, ever forget you bunch of sad lonely tug-boat enthusiasts. Check out this High Res 8MM amaze ball loin-tingler! One, two, three, So fee, fi, fo, fum, look out baby coz here I come…

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